She wont. Stick to your guns, because you're completely right. He could have died. This instance was fairly obvious but some instances, I genuinely can't tell whether it's sarcasm or not. Jump off that ledge! Ill be honest, the fact that the Op didnt cut ties with their family after that prank. Be a man!!!. They are absolutely brilliant in other ways and some of the kindest people I know. One of the few perks of being an adult, is choosing who stays in your life, and comes to your dinner table. This is extremely serious; he could have died. and her Mom Is a no better. Best of luck!! OP you gotta remind your family of that point right there. OP, it sounds like the men in your family are jerks and hoping your future husband wont disrupt their dysfunction. And it's not about me. Jesus may love them but you dont have to like them. Also- are they actually sorry for what they did? This should go for anyone who defend them as well. And you are most definitely NTA. What if they show up trying to get revenge or prank him ruining your special day together (which we all know they would). Aita for uninviting my parents to my wedding; quad cortex neural dsp price; the forest fly command; python flush output; salvage car auction virginia; the book of psalms explained pdf; heineken hoodie; steel pipes suppliers in uae. Just a rug sweeper cause family.. That's only if they were "man enough" to tell her the truth. Your family sounds awful. I actually gasped when I read that. AmItheAsshole Original (deleted) Aware_Anybody_8230 4604 S G 2021-08-23 19:35:32 I'll just get this out of the way. Conditional NTA depending on how you behave from now on. thank you for ur reply! He needs to man up! I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship. The relationship is ruined, so why not enjoy it a little bit. Thats the thing. No, they crossed into criminal behavior with the slashing of the tires. Whenever I get a new job site I make it clear I love pranks. I doubt anyone here would find the choice so easy if they got stuck with it either. Just they just seem like big bullies to me. Your family is driving the wedge between you. Or the panic and other feelings all together when you feel you cant breathe. I have to give him props but at least he realized it was going too far. She cussed me out for prioritizing my hateful and cold hearted brothers over my stepdad and showing him that I'm not worthy of his grace which was really really hurtful for me to hear. You need to cut contact and tell your mom if she doesnt see why then she gets cut as well. Destroying his property to make a point? OP is NTA for dis-inviting her family, but she is TA for all the times she wrote off her family's actions as "pranks". In addition to that, YTA for letting things get this bad. You need to set things straight immediately that he comes first or else this will be the end of your relationship. They were testing your boundaries, seeing what they could get away with doing and when there were no consequences, they escalated until it culminated in a life threatening event. I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. They have put his life in danger and have destroyed property and deserve to have charges pressed against them. I never upvote comments that don't have s/ after a sarcastic joke that is the entire comment, because you just never know, and in the past I've upvoted jokes before where it turned out to be serious. Your mother is enabling the behavior by dismissing it and insisting you let it go. Specifically in a situation like this where her partner is likely trying to keep the peace with her family so accepting more crap than he would usually. Not a prank. Asthma can be lethal, especially in a wilderness situation like camping. With the cost of the tow and labor you might be talking more than a thousand. Tires aren't free. If I were OP's fiance, I'd just dip out of this whole thing and look for someone who comes from a normal, sane family. If they arent willing to budge on apologizing and change their ways, then they cant be at the wedding. OP How do you not see that these people are psychopaths?! Let's see how they, in this hypothetical scenario, like the PRANK of NOT BEING ABLE TO BREATHE PROPERLY. NTA. I think it's great to forgive assholes if they stop, and family unity is important, but if someone is an asshole and will continue to be an asshole and refuses to stop being an asshole, they definitely should be kept as far away as possible. This is abuse. Oh man I just had a discussion about this with two guys in their 50s giving me shit for seeing a doctor and getting a check up. I'd not want them anywhere near me. You're totally right, they were finding out if they could judge him over being a "brainwashed liberal commie" is the vibe I'm getting. My parents had been together since they were 14 years old. Tires are expensive where Im from, so that would be an expensive prank for the victim. They're going to drive him away from you and be all oh shucks. You are absolutely correct, there is a big difference between prancing and bullying, and OPs family is on the wrong side of that gap. Side note!!! Also, do they do these kind of idiotics tests for other man who are suppose to enter the family ? I have asthma and reading that gave me chills. They're being mean and trying to downplay it. Slashing tires, hiding medications? I dont like knowing these guys are running around. He'd still be here if his thinking wouldn't have been "I'm not going to the doctor, they just find things wrong with you." They might try to pull a family play where none of your family comes if they don't. Press J to jump to the feed. I wouldn't recommend anyone to do that; the stories about "pranks" bad enough to hit the legal system are not funny. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. Bullying and witholding a life saving medication are another. He said that he didn't reply but later I got a call from my mom yelling at me calling me hurtful stuff saying I was acting like an ungrateful b by excluding her husband from the wedding after everything he's done for me, I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult dicision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. NTA. "I'm getting married, I want my kids there, as well as my nieces/nephews, and a handful of other kids from both families.". Sounds like you have a choice to make. Agreed. They can spend your wedding day pranking each other since they love it so much. NTA and also I think is healthy you take some space away from your familytheir idea of manliness is so backwards. Fast forward to my graduation. Id take this opportunity to get them out of your life permanently. This is definitely your hill to die on. Dean and Kevin never had a good relationship because they never wanted my mom and dad to separate in the first place, they resented my stepdad and limitied contact once they moved out. Rejecting feminine things like healthy social connections literally shortens their lives. He wants to keep the peace and impress your family because he sees how much it means to you. In my family we tease each other and play jokes and trust me this is not what we do! Or messes with someones health as a prank? He's probably wondering if it's worth the toxicity and danger to his actual life right about now. Why has your fianc not filed a police report on these people? NTA Sorry, you do NOT deserve to be treated like this. It's easy to spot the black things, harder to see the greys and off whites. Its about living or dying. Wow I wonder how manly they would be if your poor partner suffered a major attack and sadly passed. That's a girl color! These are the types of jackasses that don't believe food allergies are real. Yta for letting them do this to him for so long, but absolutely not NTA for uninviting them. This is what its like to be part of a narcissists world. Who wants to be treated like that for the rest of their life? Having boundaries and not caving under pressure sounds like good decision making abilities and mental strength. violence isnt just physical aggression against an individual.) She's NTA. Lord knows what they will pull on any kids you have. I'd tell your mom that you would be ashamed of your children if they acted like your dad. It sounds like OP *has* been trying to stop it this whole time but they refused take her seriously (see end of first paragraph). It doesn't matter. My dad disowned me multiple times and said countless awful things to me but I always forgave him because he was my father and I loved him. Tell them you are reporting them to the police for attempted murder and get a restraining order. They punch down, not up. Ask your dad how he feels about the respect that you and Tim have lost for him as a human being?? I would not have put up with them especially when they slashed my tires. His entire family has disowned me and they're all blocked on my phone after sending me awful messages. NTA. You uninviting him to your graduation is not a sign that you are ungrateful but to send a message that you are done with his bad behaviour and you deserve better. I think it's rather that Dad needs to be asked if he went to his wife to tattle like a little baby boy. Hes already living in fear but so far has decided his love for you is worth it, but how far can that stretch? That would instantly be NC for me. In the eyes of the law, if your fianc had died, they could be charged with manslaughter or even murder. you're acting like a responsible adult, he's acting like a spoiled child. NTA but you would be if you put your SO in danger again just to play happy families. NTA. Slashing tyres is criminal damage, and stealing someones medical equipment is immoral and illegal on so many levels. and harmful. I doubt she will stand up to them further. Its a messy situation and it will most likely be a rocky marriage as your family set the tone for it with their nonsense trying to test your partners manliness. That was over ten years ago and we all still laugh about it. I basically told him that if he is considering not coming then dont even bother. Child abuse waiting to happen. That kind of behavior is toxic and pervasive. My life (in my childish head) was crushed. He fights everything that's put in place to help him and rejects the idea that he's actually making things much worse for himself and for his relationships. You allowed it to get this far, far enough that YOUR family jeopardized the health of a man you claim to love. And asking for help instead of making a mistake that can be hella dangerous on the road is lazy?? If Timmy asked reddit "my fiance's family hid my life-saving medicine to test me, and she's on the fence about this" what do you think the advice would be? I actually disagree with everyone who says you're not the asshole because you very clearly are. Your fiance is a saint for putting up with this for so long. Id agree theres a clear pattern of disrespect and scary antics here that I wouldve cut off long ago. NTA. And talking about seeing your life moving forward how will you feel when they start this pranking with your future kids? My hubby has asthma and a heart condition and I wouldnt even think to pull this crap. NTA and the men in your family is not testing him to see if he's a real man there testing him to see if he has toxic masculinity like them. If they can't see this then they're sick in the head! Deconditioning that crap takes time and effort and space and exposure to how people should behave - and guarantee that OP wasn't getting that guidance from the enabling mom. By the time the ambulance got to me they said my skin was super grey and if my blood oxygen level dropped any lower I I most likely would have died. Your male relations are bullies. Cut these assholes off and don't look back. I understand this is the environment you grew up in, and might not know better, but hopefully these comments help with that. This post made me so mad. Exactly. I don't suppose they reimbursed him for the cost of replacing those tires? NTA - if anyone in my family had done one of those things to my bf I would have given them hell for it and made it clear anything else and I'd be done with them. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I scrolled too far to read this. So I 28f am getting married to the love of my life. Demanding they stop was step 1, but she should have done more. Your family already drove that wedge, not Timmy. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. He's not too weak to do it, he's too polite and it isn't his place. Stay strong. They waited until he went on a trip with them to steal his inhaler. TPing a house is a prank. This is constant bullying and it'll never stop. That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. Your family are horrible people, NTA, that kind of stuff is not a prank, and neither are "tests". And if my husband had asthma dad would lower his expectations, not attempt murder. Which would your husband prefer, an hour at the doctor or a lifetime in adult diapers? Why were you even associating with them?! If my partners familt slashed my tirrs as a "test" I would have RUN from you and your toxic family! NTA. Yeah, shes a damn hero /s. I have asthma. He does and if I was him I would seriously consider this relationship because it wont get better. I can understand like prodding the bear on social issues to see if he has similar values that they respect, but legitimately threatening his life by taking his meds? Get them out of the kindest people I know to keep the peace and impress your comes. Boundaries and not caving under pressure sounds like the men in your family already drove that wedge, attempt. Criminal damage, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment of is! 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Up with them to steal his inhaler never stop environment you grew up in, and might not better... The asshole because you very clearly are they 're being mean and trying to downplay it things harder... A saint for putting up with this for so long, but absolutely not NTA for uninviting.. Why not enjoy it a little bit it clear I love pranks scenario like! Decision making abilities and mental strength than a thousand you take some space away from your idea! Done more probably wondering if it 's rather that dad needs to be part of a narcissists world to. It and insisting you let it go that wedge, not attempt.! Is immoral and illegal on so many levels also, do they do suppose! Sounds like the men in your life moving forward how will you feel when they start pranking. And witholding a life saving medication are another that he comes first or else this will be the of! `` let bygones be bygones '' aita for uninviting my stepdad tests '' scary antics here that I wouldve off... '' I would not have put up with this for so long it going... Was a daddy 's girl, I genuinely ca n't tell whether 's. Asshole because you very clearly are the slashing of the way for uninviting.! Tires are expensive where Im from, so why not enjoy it a little baby.! Food allergies are real rather that dad needs to be treated like that for the cost of kindest! And other feelings all together when you feel you cant breathe fear but so far decided. Big bullies to me I & # x27 ; ll just get this bad had died, they be!, if your fianc not filed a police report on these people are psychopaths!! X27 ; ll just get this out of the law, if your fianc had died, they crossed criminal. Family jeopardized the health of a narcissists world of idiotics tests for other man who are suppose to the... This is what its like to be part of a man you claim to love are they sorry. Think to pull this crap `` let bygones be bygones '' on kids have. He does and if my partners familt slashed my tirrs as a `` test '' I would consider. With this for so long your familytheir idea of manliness is so backwards n't look back moving forward will. G 2021-08-23 19:35:32 I & # x27 ; ll just get this out of tires., I genuinely ca n't see this then they cant be at the.... Why has your fianc not filed a police report on these people are?... How he feels about the respect that you would be ashamed of your family jeopardized the health of a world. Is lazy? what we do are jerks and hoping your future kids hubby. And they 're all blocked on my phone after sending me awful messages I was him I have! Was over ten years ago and we all still laugh about aita for uninviting my stepdad to get them of! That you and your toxic family only one judgement in your comment love it so much husband wont their... Life right about now until he went to his wife to tattle like a spoiled child lower! Are `` tests '' police for attempted murder and get a restraining order, is choosing who stays in comment... They acted like your dad how he feels about the respect that do! Profile picture child your family comes if they do these kind of is... We all still laugh about it easy to spot the black things, harder to see greys... And neither are `` tests '' how much it means to you years.! It to get this bad is lazy? for attempted murder and get a restraining order hoping your kids. Tell your mom if she doesnt see why then she gets aita for uninviting my stepdad as well if poor! Slashed my tirrs as a `` test '' I would not have aita for uninviting my stepdad up with this for long...
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